Age Old Questions

These are questions that have no doubt plagued parents for a millenia... ok, maybe not all of them.  They have however plagued me.  If you have any Age Old Questions to add, please leave a comment! 

- Why do babies wait until one is asleep and then wake up and start crying? Why do they take turns? Is it a sort of mind control? A way to get us softened up, compliant and open to suggestion?

- Why do toddlers insist on disrobing and going nude at EXACTLY the time you need to leave the house?  OR when an extra stuffy guest drops in?  Do they have prude- radar? 

- After a c section, why do doctors suggest that you refrain from lifting anything over 10 Ibs? Do they forget that many babies weigh over 10 Ibs, or will soon? Do they suggest we leave them on the floor?

- Why do babies have pockets in their jeans? Is it to hold their wallet? If so, why don't they pay for anything? Cheap, I suppose.

- Why do Toopie and Binou encourage children to draw on each other's faces? In the episode "Tiger Hunt," Toopie draws tiger stripes on Binou's face with a black marker. Don't they realize how open to suggestion toddlers are?

- Why is the book series "Little Bear" so wonderful while the tv show is smarmy and sticky sweet? I haven't been able to pinpoint why, but I hate one and love the other.

- In the book Madeline by Ludwig Bemelman, why does Madeline appear to change her look? On the passage: "To the Tiger in the Zoo, Madeline said 'Pooh Pooh!'" Madeline suddenly goes from having a blond bob to having curly red hair. This doesn't appear to bother Erik at all, but it drives me insane.

- Here's a very disturbing one... Why is it that Max and Ruby have no parents?? Ruby does everything for Max, from cook him an egg in the morning to put him in bed at night, and puts up with all his toddler antics in between. Why doesn't their grandmother adopt these poor orphans??

- After childbirth many of us attempt to "get back in shape." What is this shape we speak of? Are we not all of some sort of shape, be it a little rounder than usual? Not to get too existential on you, but by being "out of shape," is it that we somehow cease to exist? In some circles you would think so, and in some people's eyes, perhaps!

- Why can the cat come into our yard, while we cannot go into his? Have you tried explaining this to a two year old?

- Why is "cat?" This was a question first posed by my brother at age two, and now was brought up again by my son. I really don't have the answer to this humdinger.

- Now the final question: How is it that food that is touching other food somehow becomes inedible? Is it that the molecules chemically react with each other and become disgusting to only a two year old's pallet?