So the kids and I were on a long road trip and had about two hours to spend in a playground while we waited for a ferry.  Here is the sign we encountered at that playground.

In case you can't read it the sign says "Help us make fun safe, playground designed for ages 5-12."   We were tired.  We had been driving for three and a half hours, and we needed a break.  The kids were wrangy and hyper.  Do you think we abided by these rules?

The first is a photo of my daughter, one and a half, climbing up the stairs.  The second is her descending the slide.  Nowhere could I see any reason that even my toddler would be in any danger from this climber.  I can only conclude that it must be fear of liablity that prompted the sign.  

More and more I've noticed that children are being prevented and discouraged from doing something that comes very naturally to them- climbing.  At the park I hear parents admonishing their kids, to "get down from there!  You're climbing too high!  You're going to get hurt!"  People go on and on about NOT letting kids climb up the slide for example, but I don't think they stop to think WHY their kids shouldn't climb up the slide.  Sure, it makes sense when another kid is sliding down, and yes the slide is slippery, but I argue that slide climbing is actually a very valuable skill.



 

This guy was probably climbing a lot of slides as a child. 

From my observation the skills used to climb slides are the very same skills used in slab climbing.  The child learns quickly to flatten their feet against the surface, put their weight on their feet and stick their rear out behind them.  They learn very fine tuned balance and co-ordination.  They aquire a sense of caution, care and concentration, (you never see a child running up a slide recklessly, if they did there would be negative consequences!)  You can certainly spot a child while they're climbing the slide, (meaning stand behind, ready to catch them if they fall.)  Most adults wouldn't attempt a new climb without protection, so why should a child?  I'm a big believer in letting my almost two year old climb, for example, but I attend her while she's trying anything more difficult.  I stand behind her and spot her, just as you might spot someone attempting a difficult bouldering problem.

I also think that climbing helps with balance and co-ordination in everyday life.  I run a small home daycare, and when I first got my new daycare kid I was surprised at how clumsy he seemed to be.  He was two and a half when I got him, yet he had a tendency to lose his balance when stepping over a log, and navigated uneaven ground with great difficulty.  When we were at the playground he expected me to put him UP on the climber to go down the slide.  He would stand near it and go "up up!"  I refused to simply place him on the climber however, and instead offered to help him find footholds and climb up himself.  He was quite tearful at first, and I had to give him lots of hugs and reassurance to make up for what must have seemed to him like a sort of neglect.  Finally with some coaxing and physical coaching he was able to climb up himself, and decend the slide with ease.  He was THRILLED with himself!  Since that day I've noticed an astonishing change in him.  He seems more confident and capable, and seems to be a lot less clumsy as well.  He is actually LESS prone to injury now than he was before he knew how to climb, which is ironic when one considers that most parents are trying to prevent injury by preventing their kids from climbing.

So what are the repercussions of preventing children from climbing?  Dr. Mary McCabe, a leading authority on physical education in young children, states that as a result of physical exercise and play:  "The research suggests children can raise their achievement level, increase their motivation, heighten their understanding, accelerate their learning timeline, and expand their creativity through motor skills, music, and proper nutrition,"  (see "Jungle Gym or Brain Gym.")  So it's not simply the physical fitness of the child that suffers, it's the academic readiness that is also at risk if a child is not encouraged and stimulated physically. 

Even more alarming a study done at Ohio State University found that 86 percent of disadvantaged preschoolers lacked basic motor skills.  These skills involved running, jumping, throwing and catching.  The study suggests that these children are at increased risk for obesity simply because they do not have the fundamental skills necessary for participation in sports, self confidence and positive attitude. 

So, why is it that we're discouraging children from physical activity, such as climbing?  In the case of the 5-12 year age restriction on the climber, I think it had more to do with liability than anything else.  I am sure that it was more an issue of expense, and a fear of litigation that motivated the manufacturers to impose the age restriction.  But I wonder if these issues of liability have had a negative impact on our perception of child safety?  I have noticed so many parents restricting their kids- cautioning them when they should be praising them and encouraging them, even putting HELMETS on them to ride TRICYCLES for heaven's sakes.  It's like we want to pad our kids and protect them from the world, when ultimately that is impossible.  Every kid will get some scrapes.  Most kids may break a limb at some point.  As they falter they also grow, they learn, they develop... and soon you have a nimble little athelete climbing up a pole, zipping across the monkey bars. 

Stifle that feeling of panic, celebrate this little body instead. 

The next time you go to a playground with your child try participating rather than sitting at the sidelines.  Try climbing the climber, try using the monkey bars, swallow your pride and try the mini zipline.  Your kids will get a kick out of it, and you'll enjoy yourself too.  Try encouraging your child to climb, help them if you need to by showing them foot placements and techniques.  Try taking your kids to an indoor climbing wall and see what you're capable of.  Your children will thank you.   

On August 11th I recieved a very bizarre warning from facebook, written in spanish for some reason:  

Hello,

Has cargado una foto que incumple nuestras Condiciones de uso, por lo que ha sido eliminada. En Facebook no están permitidas las fotos que atacan a un individuo o un colectivo, o bien que muestran desnudos, consumo de drogas, violenci a o cualquier otro elemento que incumple nuestras Condiciones de uso. El objetivo de estas políticas es garantizar que Facebook sea un entorno seguro y de confianza para todos los usuarios, incluidos los muchos menores de edad que lo usan.

Si tienes preguntas, visita la siguiente página de preguntas frecuentes: http://www.facebook.com/help/?topic=wphotos

The Facebook Team

It seems once again I have been targeted for censorship by Facebook.  This time it wasn't breastfeeding artwork though, it was a series of nudes I did for my BFA graduating show in 2001.
The Facebook Team

This one was called "Ophelia," and it was a part of a series I called "Liebestod," (literally love-death,) on love and loss.  The subject was a friend of mine who had lost a baby due to prematurity.  The portrait was about grief, loss and longing.  It referenced Sir John Everett Millais' painting of Ophelia, 1852.

Initially I was hesitant about posting these paintings, because I had had some previous problems with Facebook censorship.  I had three breastfeeding mother and child portraits removed from Facebook a total of five times, and a warning sent to me.  Read more on that here.  I didn't feel it was a good time to rock the boat.  However after three months with no difficulty I thought I may as well post my grad show artwork.  They are some of my best work, and I hate the idea of hiding them just because they might offend a minority of people.

I wasn't that surprised when I got my notification and the art was removed.  I thought: "After all these are full nudes, not breastfeeding mothers, and I suppose they could be misinterpreted."  However these nude paintings were still artwork, not pornography, and I think that distinction is important to maintain. 

What I find disturbing about facebook's censorship in general is that they have a lot of power over our lives. I know they are a privately owned site, but it frightens me that they have become the new social medium- on par with the town square or Zocalo, and they are anonymously both aware and in charge of the information we can share. You can't discuss any photo removal with them, they refuse to discuss it. Art that might be fine in any gallery is removed for example, and many people don't even QUESTION it's removal. I find that disturbing too. I am also concerned about the anonymous method of reporting photos. The person who reports a photo takes absolutely no responsibility or consequences for their actions.  I think this results in a kind of "dumbing- down" of our culture in general.

This one is called "Loosing Lily 2," and it's also about losing a baby after childbirth.  It was also removed on August 11th.

The dumbing down process involves removing any material deemed "offensive," a rather obscure definition which seems to mean anything that doesn't fit facebook's standards of mainstream, bland culture.  Material such as women breastfeeding, women giving birth, and gay sexuality are removed, because they do not follow the heterosexual/male culture which we're accustomed to seeing.  Big bosoms in bikinis= fine, woman giving birth = offensive seems to be the formula.  What bothers me about this formula is that we have become so accustomed to seeing everything through this hetero-male lens that we are pretty ready to accept these censorships as "just the way things are," really without questioning their motives.

Artist Leif Harmsen says so eloquantly: "Facebook is worse than useless to you because facebook.com is Facebook's website, not yours. It is not 'your' profile, it is Facebook's profile about you. Those are not your friends, they are at best a Facebook sanitized version of your friends. It took centuries of political evolution to reduce this kind of manipulative abuse from the state - why go backwards to a medieval social structure with you at the bottom? You wouldn't holiday in North Korea, so why would you spend time on Facebook?!"  
(Read my full interview with him here.)

My work was deleted without any idea of the background or meaning behind the work.  My voice was silenced simply because it didn't fit a mainstream of what is acceptable.  Perhaps Leif does have a point- Facebook is a powerful social engine, shallow and vaccuous to the extreme, yet it has a great deal of control over our lives and what information we receive.  Perhaps it's time to take back some of that control. 

On August 16th I received another notice from facebook.  They had removed a portrait I had done of my nude baby boy in the bathtub... obscene?  REALLY??  You decide.

These are questions that have no doubt plagued parents for a millenia... ok, maybe not all of them.  They have however plagued me.  If you have any Age Old Questions to add, please leave a comment! 

- Why do babies wait until one is asleep and then wake up and start crying? Why do they take turns? Is it a sort of mind control? A way to get us softened up, compliant and open to suggestion?

- Why do toddlers insist on disrobing and going nude at EXACTLY the time you need to leave the house?  OR when an extra stuffy guest drops in?  Do they have prude- radar? 

- After a c section, why do doctors suggest that you refrain from lifting anything over 10 Ibs? Do they forget that many babies weigh over 10 Ibs, or will soon? Do they suggest we leave them on the floor?

- Why do babies have pockets in their jeans? Is it to hold their wallet? If so, why don't they pay for anything? Cheap, I suppose.

- Why do Toopie and Binou encourage children to draw on each other's faces? In the episode "Tiger Hunt," Toopie draws tiger stripes on Binou's face with a black marker. Don't they realize how open to suggestion toddlers are?

- Why is the book series "Little Bear" so wonderful while the tv show is smarmy and sticky sweet? I haven't been able to pinpoint why, but I hate one and love the other.

- In the book Madeline by Ludwig Bemelman, why does Madeline appear to change her look? On the passage: "To the Tiger in the Zoo, Madeline said 'Pooh Pooh!'" Madeline suddenly goes from having a blond bob to having curly red hair. This doesn't appear to bother Erik at all, but it drives me insane.

- Here's a very disturbing one... Why is it that Max and Ruby have no parents?? Ruby does everything for Max, from cook him an egg in the morning to put him in bed at night, and puts up with all his toddler antics in between. Why doesn't their grandmother adopt these poor orphans??

- After childbirth many of us attempt to "get back in shape." What is this shape we speak of? Are we not all of some sort of shape, be it a little rounder than usual? Not to get too existential on you, but by being "out of shape," is it that we somehow cease to exist? In some circles you would think so, and in some people's eyes, perhaps!

- Why can the cat come into our yard, while we cannot go into his? Have you tried explaining this to a two year old?

- Why is "cat?" This was a question first posed by my brother at age two, and now was brought up again by my son. I really don't have the answer to this humdinger.

- Now the final question: How is it that food that is touching other food somehow becomes inedible? Is it that the molecules chemically react with each other and become disgusting to only a two year old's pallet?

Print Giveaway by The Leaky Boob!  This is a high quality signed giclee print of "Gladys and Elizabeth."  It's just a little over 5" by 7" so it fits nicely in a five by seven frame, or a larger 8" by 10" with a white border.

 

Good Night Moon
E= Erik
M= Kate, (or Mum for short)

In the great green room-
E- "Erik has room."
M-" Yes, Erik has room"
There was a telephone...
E- "Erik has no telephone."
and a red balloon...
E- "Erik talk on telephone to Grandma..."
And a picture of the cow jumping over the moon.
There were three little bears sitting on chairs...
E- "Erik sits on high chair. Daddy fix Erik's highchair."
M- "Yes, Daddy fixed your highchair."
There were two little kittens...
E- "Daddy made it." (pointing at nightlight.)
M- "No, daddy bought it. It's to make you feel safe. Daddy was thinking of you when he bought it."
E- "Daddy loves me."
M- "Yes, Daddy loves you, Erik."
And a pair of Mittens...
E- "Grandma Shirle made it..." (pointing at his giant teddy.)
M- "No, Grandma Shirle bought it."
And a little toy house and a young mouse.
E- "It not work."
M- (momentarily flummoxed.)
E- "It need batteries." (pointing at the teddy.)
M- "No, Erik, it doesn't need batteries. It doesn't do anything, it just...bes a teddy, that's all."
E- "It don' need batteries. It don' have door for batteries."
M- "No, it doesn't have a door to put batteries in, that's right."
There was a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush... and a quiet old lady...
E- "That's the mama bunny."
M- "That's right, that's the mama bunny."
And a quiet old lady who was whispering...
E- "and that's the baby bunny."
M- "That's right, that's the baby bunny."
And a quiet old lady who was whispering hush.
E- "He don' pee in potty."
M- "Oh, he doesn't?"
E- "Maybe he pee in potty?"
M- "I bet he does."
Good night moon...
E- "Erik pees in potty!"
M- "That's right, and we're very proud of you!"
Good night cow jumping over the moon...
Good night bears, good night chairs...
Good night kittens, and good night mittens.
E- "Mama pees in potty."
M- "Yep, mama pees in potty."
E- "I proud of you, mama."
M- "Thank you, Erik! That's so sweet."
Good night clocks and good night socks...
Good night house and good night mouse...
Good night kittens and good night mittens.
E- "Jackie made them."
M- "Jakie made...oh...yes, Jackie made your curtains."
Good night comb and goodnight brush...
Good night nobody and good night mush.
Good night to the old lady whispering hush.
Good night stars...
E- "Twinkle twinkle little star..."
Good night air...
E- "Havouany wool?"
M- "What was that?"
E- "Baa blackshee havouany wool?"
M- "Sure, we could sing 'Baa baa black sheep' that as soon as the story is done."
Good night noises everywhere

My first experience of breastfeeding was when I first nursed my son in the hospital after my caesarean.  His tiny head, swollen and mishapen after spending two days wedged against my cervix, his tiny hands almost like an old person's hands after living underwater for so long, his face was wise as only newborns and the elderly are.  It was a moment of wonder, and pain, and joy.  I was aching after surgery.  I nursed him in the football hold, his body on one side to avoid hurting my incision.  The suction caused my uterus to contract, both a painful and a wonderful feeling of release, emotional and physical. 

I had spent a few years in a state of yearning for that moment.  I had suffered several miscarriages and a molar pregnancy, I had felt for so long as though my body were the enemy, as though my body could betray me at any moment.  The moment I nursed my son everything changed; suddenly my body was my friend, my breasts were competent and friendly, my baby was beautiful.  As a small breasted women I've also always felt somewhat sub-par, a little less than a real woman.  The moment my new baby latched on all those feelings of inadequacy disappeared too.  I felt about as womanly as I could possibly feel, overflowing with joy and bliss and sensuality in the purest sense. 

It was that moment that I decided to start The Madonna and Child Project  I hadn't fully formulated my concept at that point, but I wanted to express the joy and awe I felt as a new mother, and I could think of no better form than the classical Madonna and Child theme.  As an artist and a mother I've had to struggle to balance both worlds.  There were times when I actually continued to breastfeed my child as I completed my projects- a true case of art imitating life!  Sometimes I felt frustrated and harried as every mother does when trying to balance work and life, and sometimes I've felt guilty for wanting to do art when my children need me more.  Most of the time I find my work and my children are symbiotic to each other- they relate so closely to each other that I have trouble separating the two.  My experiences as a mother inform my artwork, and I think my artwork contributes to my experiences as a mother in turn.

Not every moment was magical of course.  I had days in which my breasts were aching and engorged and every item of clothing I owned was stained with breastmilk.  My sheets were soaked at night, and I struggled with feelings of irritation or disgust at my own wonderfully productive body.  Then there were other moments in which I would feel the most overwhelming love while nursing.  I remember specifically nursing my daughter in bed while she was only a few days old... thinking... no FEELING with my whole body "I love you!"  People explain that rush as a release of oxytocin and other hormones, but I prefer to believe that it's something more than that.  It felt almost like I was experiencing something transcedent, something of the divine- God if you will.  I think there is just a touch of the divine involved in the best parts of motherhood.  For some that involves bathing a child, looking into their eyes and hearing their laughter.  For me that also involved nursing, and that is what I have attempted to express through my art.