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The day you were born

9/27/2011

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The other day my son asked me about his birth.  He said "I know I was in your belly, but then how did I come out?"  In other circumstances this would be the perfect opportunity to discuss childbirth, how babies are born, how they come out, etc.  However... my son was born by cesarean.
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So, what do you tell your child when they were removed by c-section?  Do you tell how most babies are born, then tell them that they had a little extra trouble?  How do you make it special and loving even if it might have been a traumatic event for you?  I personally had a very long labour, 48 hours, which just didn't seem to progress.  However, I am lucky to be able to say my labour and subsequent section weren't particularly traumatizing- I was well treated and respected by the medical professionals and I never felt pushed to have a cesarean.  I was able to tell my son very honestly that his birth day was a happy day for me.  I was able to tell him about the deep deep snow falling outside, the way he sounded when he first cried, what it felt like to first look in his eyes.  I showed him the scar of the incision through which he was removed.  I told him how happy I was to have him.  How incredibly happy he made me.  What's that corny line?  "You complete me."



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So, how do you explain a traumatic birth to your child?  Do you focus on the positive, talk about how their daddy held them first, how you came to name them?  Is it something like a disasterous wedding followed by a blissful marriage?  How do you create the Story of When You Were Born?  

I was so pleased to come across a beautiful set of two photographs on the blog Birth Without Fear.  These are two caesarean section birth photos.  I found it very impressive that they took the time to honour those of us who have had a caesarean birth by posting these photos.  Despite the pain, the trauma and the difficulty resulting from a c- section, it's nice to know that people recognize that the event is bitter/sweet and complex, much like motherhood it'self.  

Please share your experiences in the comments section.  I would love to hear about how you told your children their birth story, even if (especially if,) it wasn't perfect.
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What I go through to get a coffee in this house

9/21/2011

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6:00am-    I wake up.  I start a pot of coffee then wait for my first daycare client to arrive at 6:15.
6:30am-     Husband wakes up.  Daughter wakes up.  I spend time getting my daycare client settled, getting her a bottle, etc.  I cuddle my daughter, as she's slightly peeved at the daycare client's early arrival.  My husband goes to work.  I realize he's taken all the coffee for his thermos. 

DEVESTATION!

I look in the cupboard and see that the ground coffee has run out.  We have a massive bag of beans in the back of the cupboard, so I take it out and put it on the counter.

Next thing I know it's 8:00am and my second daycare client has arrived.  I spend some time getting her sorted, prepare everyone some breakfast.  I notice the coffee beans on the counter.  I search for the coffee grinder.  Daycare client #1 spills cereal on the floor.  I clean it up.  Daycare client #2 needs a diaper change.  I oblige.  I look at the clock...
8:30am 
I get my kids dressed, clean up some milk from the floor, and notice that all the teddies of the whole house have been thrown down the stairs.  I open the baby gate and go get the teddies.  My daughter slips by me and hurries downstairs.

Now I'm not worried about my daughter going downstairs, she's two and a half and is in no danger.  She, however, wishes I would show more concern and begins to call me from downstairs.  I tell her to come up, she insists I come down and get her.  We're butting heads.  I begin to grind coffee.  When I stop I notice a change in my daughter's calling, and take a look downstairs.  "Mama!  I peeeeeed!"  Sure enough she had taken her clothes off and peed on two of the raincoats in the entrance.  I get a towel and some cleaner, mop up, put the raincoats in the washer and retrieve my child.  I look again at the coffee grinder.

9:00am- I once again resume grinding coffee.  I'm insistant that this time I will have my cup of coffee.  I grind away oblivious to sounds around me.  When I turn around I notice that the kids have spilled red river cereal all over the floor.  I ignore it, and crunch over it in my determination to make it to the coffee maker.  I fill the pot.  I put in the coffee.  I press "on."

Thank God. 
1 Comment
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    A blog on art, roller derby and life.

    Kate Hansen

    I'm an artist and mother of two  in Courtenay, BC.  I've completed a project called the "Madonna and Child Project," and I'm now working on a series of roller derby inspired drawings. In my spare time I play roller derby with the Brick House Betties.  

    Kate Hansen

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